Cali, you’re killing me. #california #adventures #roadtrip #COLORS #butforrealthesecolors
I’ve found that when I have the most to write about, I hardly write at all. Maybe this is common. I’m afraid of capturing it in the wrong way, a dishonest way, making the bad seem better and the good not as good. I’m afraid of making the less than ideal moments permanent, for fear of looking back and seeing only the imperfections. But what I’m learning through this, and I’ve arrived at this conclusion by way of any and every cliched path I could take, is that the bad is just as important as the good. The bad makes the good stronger, better, more deserved.
I have a wise friend. I always wanted one of those; one of those well-respected, unique, perceptive, always knows the right thing to say like it’s scripted kind of friends, and now I have one and I see him every day. Last week he sits down across from me after a brief conversation about our lives and everything going on in them and says,
“Sometimes you must suffer to learn, Cayla.”
Now I don’t know if it was his deep, Mufasa voice, the Portuguese accent, the lighting, girl emotions, etc., but on that day, I understood what that actually meant instead of hearing it as a recycled phrase, something tossed around. And I felt at peace. And I’ve thought about it every day since. I wake up with the thought, I go to sleep with the thought. I wish I would have taken this to heart sooner.
The lesson isn’t necessarily in the struggle, but in the way you handle it.
I am learning, I am changing. I think you have to be willing to be molded, sometimes.
But even amidst those less than perfect moments, there were beautiful ones.